Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Breaks and Spaces---

Well I could see this coming for the last two weeks almost.  Today Calvin decided that he wanted to take a break.  There's no visitation and decreased communication.  The goal is to take some time to let all of this built up tension die down and hopefully come together and be happy again.  I know what you're thinking....man that was fast.  Well not really.  We've been dating nearly 9 months and we've had some wonderful times together.  However, this month has been the pits.  I mean just terrible. We've gotten more involved in heated discussions than we have had happy moments.

I've been trying to analyze the situation (a little too much he would say).  I'll admit that me being over analytical has been too much for either of us to handle.  I'm killing my own joy.  I can't enjoy his jokes, the sex, his presence.  It's not the usual.  It's quite ridiculous on my part.  I've never let my emotions come in the way of such a great thing before. 

My hope for this break is that I will get back to my happy place.  The idea is that he'll miss me much and we'll come together and be amazing together.  Breaks aren't usually good things.  Often the guy or girl find themselves trying to "live it up" like they would if they were completely single.  I sincerely doubt this will happen with us. 

This break gives us the right amount of space needed to think things through and come together again.  I'm optimistic about this.  Plus, it'll give me a chance to focus on me and my completion of those applications.  I'm on it!

Ok, I don't feel so sad anymore.  I knew this blog would help me get through some trying times.  Thank you!

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